So, obviously, because of the excellent casting of me, my family and other animals in Blogenge Round 3, the people from Paramount have approached me to ask permission to turn the story of my life into an actual real film.  You sound surprised at this.  You mean a film of a small, blonde person writing lists of different things at different points in her life would not draw you to buy popcorn and visit the big screen? What a lack of taste you must have in cinematic gold.  Oh, alright then.  You got me.  Despite the obvious potential for an Oscar, the film is not happening (would you believe it!)  Do not be dismayed, however, for there may yet be a deal from Sony BMG to produce the soundtrack.  Yep, it’s the Blogenge Round 6: the Soundtrack to the Movie of My Life.  The music that would play in the background of the key scenes of The Story of The Lynsey.  Hmmm…

OK.  So, you’re settled in your seats (I’m not going to argue again about this, just go with me people), it all goes black and the drama (or comedy…or documentary…) begins…

Opening Credits:  The music to set the scene.  I’d love to say something really dramatic and powerful.  But it’s supposed to set the scene of the film.  I’d love to think of it opening with a huge African choir or a big ballsy brass piece or lots of cellos.  But none of that would go with the story of me really.  No, it really should be something plinky plonk a la Grey’s Anatomy or Ally McBeal. Not that I’m like any of the characters in any of them, but I just think that the tone would be right.  Sometimes light, sometimes dark, sometimes funny and always full of chatty nothingness, with eternal optimism underpinning major dramas of he says-she says and running out of coffee.  However, the background music to Ally and Grey’s often hints at something tugging-at-heart-strings, whereas I think the opening to mine needs to have a bigger nod to comedy, verging on occasional farce.  I think ‘The Entertainer’ would be perfect.  Plink plonk perfection.

The Love Scene:  Now anyone who knows me really well knows that I struggle to talk about anything remotely related to ‘love’ as in ‘lurve’, if you get my drift.  Anything relating to… well you know…erm…that is, unless you’re in Year 6 and in an SRE lesson, and then I’m great at it!  Anyway, I digress.  Because I can’t say this scene with words, I would say it with totally with music, and have ‘The Balcony Scene’ by Craig Armstrong, from Romeo and Juliet.  There’s something about that piece of music that just takes my breath away.  I adore it.  (And just in case you wondered, the lighting directions for the scene would be ‘off’ and the costume would be something in flannelette, just in case the lighting man was having an off day).

Fight Scene:  Having read some of the other Blog posts for this round, all of which are great as always, it appears we are all rubbish at fighting.  I’m glad about this.  So, I’m going to continue this theme, and pick a piece of music which I’m amazed hasn’t been used by any of my fellow feeble fighters – ‘The Benny Hill Show’ theme tune.  Any fight with me in it would be hilarious and involve lots of scenes of me being chased. Guaranteed.

Death Scene:  This has caused me much ponderification (I know, it’s not a word, but I like it). I suppose the reason for this, is that it would very much depend how I died.  If it was a tragic, moving death in the arms of my love, then I would want something like gorgeous and tear-provoking, like ’Throw Your Arms Around Me’ (the Pearl Jam version) or ‘Flowers’ by Neil McSweeney.  If, however, it was a semi-tragic accident (probably involving plastic wallets or some form of dangerous stationery implement), then something more upbeat to bring hope in the face of adversity would be appropriate, probably ‘Spirit in the Sky’ (but definitely not the Gareth Gates version. I said semi-tragic).

Closing Credits:  ‘Happy’ by Travis or ‘One Day Like This’ by Elbow. Or, obviously, ‘Tomorrow’ from Annie.  Not for any particular reason.  But just because if it’s anything to do with my life, it has to be in there somewhere.  It just does.

So there you have it.  The Soundtrack to the Movie of My Life.  My life so far, that is…